"I think that we're all mentally ill. Those of us outside the asylums only hide it a little better - and maybe not all that much better after all." -- Stephen King
How Dogs Do - An Elder Dog's Advice to a Young Pup

So, young pup, you're growing up to be an exceptional canine, are you? I'm glad to hear that. You look pretty chipper! You must be sure, though, to keep those two humans of yours on track and that will be a daunting doggie task. They're going to continue to push you in directions you don't want to go. For instance, when a pesky squirrel has the audacity to zip past you during one of those plodding walks the humans drag you on … they'll want you to toe the line and ignore the squirrel. Dude! To hell with that! You totally go for broke. Man up! Show some canine cojones (while you still have some) … take off after that rodent! Chase it like there's no tomorrow. That's how we do. Got it? (P.S. Hope your humans don't discover that torture device called "gentle leader" … total misnomer. Seriously.)
In regards to food choices, I’m afraid you're on your own in that department. As appetizing and irresistible as I find human fare, my doggie digestive tract has a mind of its own. Believe me, there's nothing worse than the outcome of my chowing down on some tasty tidbits. I usually save up these horrific episodes for when the human that likes me (JJ) is away in Mexico. Yeah, they think I'm clueless about this every other summer escapade … leaving me with the human who dislikes me (Judy) and who’s blog I’ve surreptitiously usurped to post this. Hahahaha. (Think she’ll notice?) I'll tell you what – I let her know what's what. I usually wait until like the second or third day and then the shit hits the fan, Fozzy. Literally. I can brew some nastiness inside these old guts and when the cauldron is bubbling and boiling, I let loose. All over the house!
Here's a key piece of advice, though. Keep such shenanigans away from where you eat and sleep. It's imperative that you only launch these deadly bombs and pasty pools of toxic waste in areas that the humans occupy. Living room. Dining room. And it's especially fulfilling if you involve rugs and/or carpet instead of wood or linoleum. Truly a delight to watch and listen to the human response! You may even learn a few new words. An accomplishment of grand proportions, yup. True. True.
Another fun trick I learned was how to escape from the back yard. For this momentous achievement, I also waited until the 'good human' (JJ) was away in Mexico. I jumped up and put my snout to good use – lifting the latch on the back gate. Freedom, my friend! It's a beautiful thing! Then the human who dislikes me (Judy) had to deal with the phone calls and walking blocks and blocks to retrieve me. It was a blast! I'd go visit other canines … or sometimes just yards with kids out playing. Everyone in the neighborhood was always receptive and welcoming. They loved my visits. But then I'd have to return home with the evil one. And listen to her rant about how I was a bad dog for going on a little adventure. Dude! Adventures are the best! Totally worth the few minutes of haranguing from the humans. There are so many cool canines to meet and chill with. Always be on the lookout for a good escape route when they leave you alone in the yard.
Let me introduce you to one of our most famous canines - Snoopy. You’ll learn a lot from him. He’s awesome! Joe Cool! Have your humans queue up some TV sessions of the “Peanuts” cartoons. Good times.

I’m tuckered out from all this typing. As you know, not having apposable thumbs makes typing difficult. Damn raccoons got it easy. Grrrrr. Anyway, time for my tenth nap of the day. When you get to be my age – 13 (I'd be 91 if I were a human, now that's old) – naps are a necessity. Live it up while you're able. And stay tuned for more advice, I’ll sneak posts in whenever I can. The evil one shall not catch me! I’m like the Red Baron … taking flight! Woo Hoo!! (Too much Snoopy? Nah.) Be cool, Lil Dude!
Your pal from the big city,
Harry the Wonder Dog

Author Auction, Jewelle Gomez and Workshops … Oh, My!

Still in recovery mode and today is Wednesday!
This was my third year attending this awesome event. Each year it gets better. This year was amazing … and not just because it was in my home city … the whole conference had a more positive tone and a cohesiveness that I'd not experienced in the prior two years.
I read KG MacGregor's blog and she had this to say about Jewelle Gomez, "When I retire from writing, I’m going to follow Jewell Gomez around the country and sit at her feet while she talks about her work. She’s truly an amazing woman and we were lucky to have her at GCLS."
Amen to that.
A variety of workshops were offered. If I had the ability to clone myself, I could've attended them all! Unfortunately, I had to settle for a few.
Essential Tools to Bring Your Characters to Vivid Life
Written and Presented by Elizabeth Sims
This two part workshop was one of those few. Hilarity ensued. "Driving me bugf**k" … a line Elizabeth shared a few times throughout the workshop … stuck with me.
But seriously, Elizabeth shared a wealth of advice on dialogue:
Great nuggets of knowledge from an engaging and learned presenter. I've taken a few webinars of hers via Writers Digest and always find them useful. Elizabeth's humor draws me in and she weaves that humor, intricately, through the lessons as she teaches. I highly recommend any of her webinars. She's a truly fun and wonderful person.
Cheyne explained to us how she wrote this short story for a contest and the story won an award and then morphed into an amazing and touching short film.
Hard work. Volunteers and sponsorship moved the project forward.
The story depicts the aftermath of a female soldier killed in action in Iraq. An Army chaplain is enlightened when visiting the mother of the soldier and is introduced to the woman's widow and young child – and all this happens BEFORE the repeal of DADT.
The short film was touching and Cheyne and Brenda's session was very interesting. I was impressed with both the story and the film!
Salem West did a super job moderating. The panel consisted of: Bev Prescott, Lynette Mae, Cheyne Curry and Barrett. Great input on military and law enforcement – real life and as characters in books.
Unfortunately, those were the only workshops I was able to attend as I had to slot time for my duties --
It was my honor and privilege to serve as the Awards Administrator this year. A daunting task that at times over the past several months had me teetering on the brink of insanity! (Hyperbolic? Perhaps.) The upside was being a part of the ultimate event - the Awards Ceremony. (Upside, EXCEPT for the minor detail of my having to address a roomful of people at the beginning! Shaking in my boots and all.)
My sincerest congratulations go to all the winners this year. (Visit goldencrown.org to see the phenomenal list of finalists and winners.) And we couldn’t have arrived at the memorable moments of giving awards if it weren't for the 33 volunteers who judged all the books. You were all steadfast and dedicated to the cause. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Without volunteers like these folks, the awards wouldn't happen.
I owe a huge THANK YOU to Mary Phillips, Director of Finance and Awards Liaison. Mary assisted me during the ceremony … placing the awards on stage as the finalists were read by the presenter(s). We had a smooth flowing system going on!
And our "Wocket," Director of Education and Interim Director of Technology, did a smashing job with the slideshow presentation. No glitches. No gremlins. Smooth sailing all the way! Whew!
Probably the most meaningful segment for me was the very last award, the Lee Lynch Classics Award. I was tasked with forming a committee to research, review and write a proposal for submission to the Board of Directors based on Lori L. Lake's suggestion for creating this new award. We worked and re-worked the proposal and the Board approved it, including having the "kickoff" this year by awarding it to the incomparable Lee Lynch for her book, "The Swashbuckler."
I so admire and respect
Everyone: Board of Directors, volunteers, authors, readers, editors, publishers, sponsors and hotel staff made this the best conference I've attended! So much talent. So much fun. And I could feel the love. Kudos to all!!
Dallas/Ft Worth, here we come! (2013)
After hanging out with so many talented and supportive folks I feel inspired to get back to my writing.
OWC and Tom the Tenacious Ghost
So, our merry little band of writers had the pleasure of having Marlene Howard join us for two days. Marlene is one of the founding board members of Oregon Writers Colony. Marlene is a hoot! Aside from the awesomeness of founding a nonprofit organization that provides such a valuable place and concept for writers of all ilks, she’s an amazing storyteller. And Marlene tells it like it is - no mincing of words. I totally respect that!
Do you want a small dose of the haunted history behind Colonyhouse? Colonlyhouse is a log house located on the ridge in Rockaway Beach overlooking the Pacific Ocean from the back and Lake Lytle from the front.
Well, here’s a tidbit for you …
In 1988, OWC purchased the house, which had originally been left to a nonprofit organization in Nebraska, that couldn’t afford or use the house. The man who’d owned the home, a fisherman, had died and willed the home to the nonprofit – some folks speculated that Tom didn’t just ‘die,’ but that he committed suicide by boat. (No one knows for sure – well, except for Tenacious Tom.) Apparently, he missed his deceased - dearly departed wife.
But, I digress … Anyway, the current board of OWC received a call from a realtor telling them if they could make the trip to the beach right quick, they may be able to scoop up this phenomenal house for a not unwieldy sum. So, the group trekked to the coast … they entered via the basement - a dark dank cave. Hmmmmm. Not to be put off, after all the price was right - the group trudged up the basement steps and the leader of the pack, Bonnie, opened the door onto the beautiful sun drenched main level. The group bought it –– hook, line and sinker.
Spud, the trusty house repairer, arrived and was immediately introduced to Tom the Tenacious Ghost. Tom was not quite ready to abandon the old homestead. He decided to mess with the electricity and drive Spud nuts. Finally, Spud let Tom know, in no uncertain terms – ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Tom backed off - or did he?
As the house was made habitable for renting writers, Tom’s existence faded from memory. Until – someone heard a typewriter in the middle of the night – only there wasn’t a typewriter in the house. Then a woman sleeping in the basement bedroom woke up during the night, put on her glasses and noticed writing on the wall – “the writing is on the wall.” Hmmmm. A smartass ghost? Messing with writers? 

Anonymous hauntings that folks didn’t want made public, but I couldn’t resist sharing a good ghost story – or two.
And our stay isn’t over, perhaps one of us will reap the rewards of a ghostly encounter. If so, you’ll read about it here!
Happy Haunting!
Writing Retreat at Colonyhouse

A view of the ocean at Rockaway Beach, OR. The sun is setting the mist rolling in. The waves crashing and wiping the sandy slate clean on the beach. All wonderful ingredients to get the creative juices flowing – a writer’s battery charger.
A day at Colonyhouse, owned by Oregon Writer’s Colony (OWC): shower, coffee and breakfast followed by a walk along the beach. Feeling revitalized our little band of seven scatters for quiet writing time. Me in my basement cave; a couple on the porch on the ocean-side of the house; a couple more at the dining table and maybe one or two at the house next door.
After lunch we gather in the common room for a workshop; the first day we spent the entire afternoon learning about character journey, character arc, creating dynamic story people and values and conflict. Great discussion ensues among the group. Informative handouts and a visually pleasing PowerPoint presentation were effective components of the session. Thanks to our FuGu – Lori L. Lake.
With the session over and exciting and supportive discussion buzzing through the house, we all gather around the table for the evening meal. Laughter, intense dialogue and storytelling wax and wane. By 10 or 11 p.m. I’m ready to retreat to my cave in the basement and work on my current story revision or plotting for my NaNoWriMo story. Around midnight I crawl into bed ready to sleep and dream about what exciting adventures the ‘morrow will bring.
Write on!
A New Year and an Old Friend
In November 2009, I participated in my first NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) event. The goal was to write 50, 000 (or more) words during the thirty days of November, in essence, a novel in one month. I dove in blind. No plot. No plan. No character arcs. No outline. No prep. Nothing. Nada. That’s kind of the idea, though – what makes NaNoWriMo what it is … crazy.
I ended my word count at around 52,000, if memory serves correctly. I put the manuscript aside and moved on to other pursuits. The writing group I am part of started a ‘round robin’ writing exercise, which went two rounds. I read a couple of books on writing and editing. I read lots of fiction, which I usually do (“hi, my name is Judy and I’m an addict.&rdquo
I attended my first writing conference in June 2010. When I came home I pulled my manuscript out, blew off all the dust (not really – just opened the file on my computer) and re-read the story. Then I added a couple thousand words and asked a couple people in my writing group if they’d read it and give me feedback. I’d never completed an actual novel and had no clue what to do. I wasn’t sure if the story was good enough to be considered ‘a novel.’ Was it long enough? Have all the elements? Did it engage the reader?
The word count hovered at around 55,000 at that point. Two or three folks agreed to read it, so I sent the file off into cyberspace and forgot about it. In August, one of my writing buddies sent me an email informing me she’d finally read the story and it was good. The characters were good and a few other ‘good’ things. She gave me the task of editing and weeding over used words and tightening up the story. Then after I completed my homework assignment, I should send it back to her for ‘round two.’ She believed the story was publishable, but I had a long road ahead of me.
I meticulously went through the manuscript using the “Find/Replace” function in my word processing software. OMG! How many times did I use the word ‘look?’ Over 100. I know, right? After my edit and weeding foray, combined with tightening the story, the word count dipped to around 52, 000.
Time moved on, but the work stalled. The manuscript sat on my hard drive … and sat … and sat. Untouched for weeks. I assured myself, daily, that I’d spend time in the evening (after work) picking at the story. Of course, I didn’t. Time got away from me. Work got busy. Too many books from the library to read. Yadda yadda yadda. I refer to those days as avoidance therapy. If I avoided the manuscript, I wouldn’t finish the rewrite then no one could read it and tell me how awful it was.
Fast forward to January 2011. Time to stop saying “I’m going to …” and glue my butt to the chair and – DO. No matter the consequences. No pain, no gain. No risk, no glory. I dragged my manuscript out of cyber storage and plugged away. No, not every day, but many days (and evenings.) At the time of this blog entry, I have the word count up to 61,000. I still have several scenes I’ve decided to work into the story. Once those scenes are woven, ever so smoothly, into the web of chaos, I’ll need to revisit the edit/weeding out chores.
After the chores are completed and I’m satisfied with the finished product I’ll beg a couple of my writing buds to immerse themselves in the pages, again. Hopefully they’ll wade through and not come out too horrified – or bored. Bored would be the worst, I think. I fear bored.
So, no, I didn’t make any new year’s resolutions, but I did reacquaint myself with an old friend. And I intend to make that old friend all shiny, bright and full of life for my readers. Who knows, maybe someday you’ll read it – as a published book.
I dare to dream. Do you?

